Autumn Dream

2010-12-12T18:37:00.001+08:00

bored, im bored.

time for a change

2010-12-03T16:11:00.002+08:00

im back to revive this dead blog.

its been so long since i last posted anything constructive in this blog. i have been free, but i was too lazy to type. i had rather waste my time playing dota and maplestory than to compose a entry for this blog. but i have grown bored of gaming. hours of grinding the same monsters in maplestory just to gain a level and endless cycles of repeating games in dota have numbed my initial interest in gaming.

gaming serves the purpose to distress and entertain players, thus once it no longer fulfill its duty, there is no point in keeping it a dominant component in my daily routine. well im not quitting gaming, just playing less.

apart from gaming, this is something else that bothers me. my body is going out of shape in less than a month since i ord. thats scary!!! just a month of being a potato couch, i can now see my tummy building up. i need to exercise! start running again. i still remembere that when i was in bmt, i made a vow to myself that i will make use of these 2 weeks to train my body to be fit. now im still standing to honour that vow. i will not become a fat ugly guy i promise this. no more procrastination, tomorro mornig i will start running. its been long since i last been to bishan park, i miss the morning breeze, the dawn sunlight, the chirping birds... haha its exciting thinking about it.

Agree?

2010-12-03T02:14:00.003+08:00

HOW TO TREAT A WOMAN:
Wine her. Dine her. Call her. Hold her. Surprise her. Compliment her. Smile at her. Listen to her. Laugh with her. Cry with her. Romance her. Encourage her. Believe in her. Pray with her. Pray for her. Cuddle with her. Shop with her. Give her jewelry. Buy her flowers. Hold her hand. Write love letters to her. Go to the ends of the earth and back again for her.

HOW TO TREAT A MAN:
Show up naked. Bring chicken wings and beer. Don’t block the TV.

2010-11-20T03:19:00.002+08:00

Moonlight

2010-09-05T23:10:00.004+08:00

such beautiful night cloaked with a layer of silver moonlight. awww...

No, not this moonlight.
I have been working outside ns for the past few days. yes, secretly working. i worked the full 4 days of comex show, as a sales promoter for acer. im selling the Acer Liquid E Ferrari Edition. its a pretty phone. and thats all i can praise about the phone without hurting my consciousness.

take a look.
slow cpu, low internal memory, small lcd screen, laggy performance, constant hanging... buy at your own risk.

didnt earn much from this comex show. was expecting much higher income.

someone please intro me a rich tai tai, im willing to be her gigolo.

Freedom

2010-08-23T19:45:00.002+08:00

its good to hold faith in you.
one source of which is religion.
but religion is only good for us to seek mental strength and support to improve our lives.
but dont be obsessed with the idea that your religion is omnipotent. it shouldnt dictate your way of living.
theology is outdated, old-fashioned, old school, obsolete.
we should believe in something that is confirmable and verifiable.
religion has been replaced by science.
religion preaches to its followers that they must obey everything god told them and everything his prophets interprets (we cannot confirm if the prophets has twisted the real intention of god out of selfish will). religion wants everything out of its followers: time, money, faith, lives...
but this is not what religion is supposed to do. instead of empowering us, it takes away more than it is giving us.
eeeww... religion? no thanks. science looks like a better choice. at least science clearly defines the power of individuals and allow me to choose what i want.
leave God to our ancestors and embrace science.
goodbye Mr Jesus, we will miss you. and hello science =)

"Irrational Exuberance"

2010-07-23T14:25:00.000+08:00

We need to redefine price stability to reassess and include price of stock shares. the conventional definition of price stability means that expected changes in the average price level are small enough and gradual enough that they do not materially enter business and household financial decisions.

But this happens only in tangible consumer goods, it's an alien term to assets and investment goods such as real estate and stock market when the prices can rise beyond 1000% and fall by 90% within a day.
price stability? Laugh my ass off. Burst that bubble please.

The governments can continue to sit back and relax and let "irrational exuberance" in the stock markets crash the economy over and over again.
When will you learn your lessons? Homo sepians.

BACK

2009-12-20T21:23:00.003+08:00

i got to book in soon. spending this last minute mourning this half-dead blog.

im intending to take NIE next year. becoming a teacher doesnt seem bad in singapore.

miss dear so much... we are going to the zoo this x'mas. haha
and somehow im always bugged by this sense of insecurity.

and i had a huge budget deficit last month. need to control spending from now on. contractionary fiscal policy LOL. im crazy over econs.

281109

2009-11-30T20:12:00.002+08:00

what a nice number.

i miss ur lips, ur hair, ur eyes, ur smell... and ur pimples. haha so cute.
it feels so peaceful holding ur hands and chatting with you alone. there is only so little time we can spare for each other, thus making every second we spend together more precious than ever.

dont ever look away from me, cause i can only live in your eyes, no others'... haha crazy. and i know u love this pic, its for u =p
cant wait to see u tml. we can go home tgd after work... haha.
indulging in ur companionship.

sweet sweet day

2009-11-28T01:00:00.001+08:00

when was the last time i posted something here?
haha...

oh well, life is going on as it is. and im still alive!!!

currently im seeing someone. we just got started. we are not together, just dating.
its a beautiful story.

=)

and i gtg now.

start reading, resume learning

2009-11-26T20:38:00.002+08:00

The Anti-Globalization Breakfast Club: Manifesto Of A Peaceful Revolution.
Impostor
The Trophy Kids Grow up

i went to bishan library to borrow these 3 books. "the anti-globalization breakfast club" is a book i would strongly recommend to everyone.

coke

2009-07-14T20:13:00.001+08:00

love sg love ns

2009-07-05T22:05:00.002+08:00

that is plain bullshit. i couldnt be bothered to come up with a proper heading for this post because im simply too fucking lazy to think of any for such a trivial come-back-entry.

i have been on and off blogging. when i have the mood, i will randomly post something to refresh my blog.

im in aslc now, after 2 months in bslc, only 1 more month away from getting my 3rd sergeant rank. as a commander-to-be, i totally dont feel that im qualified to be one. im not ready for it. with great power comes great responsibilities. i dont think im ready for that kind of weight over my shoulders. im not ready to lead my men of 6. i cant even take good care of myself, and im supposed to handle 6, or 12 if i end up in tekong? 3rd sergeant ong. HOHOHO. sounds great, but not the amount of work that comes with it. maybe its not that im not capable of doing it, rather that im just reluctant. i guess so. nonchalent.

went out with bwg today to celebrate my birthday. brothers!!!

im already 20. no longer a teen. i feel old, i am.

as my msn nick says: misinterpretations. i have missed out and screwed up so many things in my life due to misinterpretations.

right now im missing someone. i will not take any action, i will just continue to miss this special someone. im silly, let me be.

this is the end of this entry. till my next entry, and to end it...

today im proud of sg, tml sg will be proud of me.

2009-01-24T23:31:00.000+08:00

i have temper too.

my china trip

2008-12-22T14:49:00.002+08:00

it's winter in China now. the weather is so damn cold. today's temperature is 10 degree celsius. freezing cold!!! my fingers are getting numb due to the coldness. the air here is very hazy due to the under-regulated air pollution from nearby factories.

the weather here is dry, really dry. my hand and face skin have cracked as a result exposure to the coldness and dryness. lucky that i have brought a stick of lip mosturiser here which saved my lips. my nose is bleeding too. every breath i take in sends a chill down my nostril to my air pipe into my lungs.

i miss my dear. we have been separated since my departure. i cant wait for our reunion when i return to singapore.

away...

2008-12-13T12:41:00.001+08:00

gone... for 2 weeks.

im not good enough for you.

2008-12-09T05:20:00.003+08:00

i think im placing too much hope into this relationship. i have been trying all that i could to keep my love one, by my side, who doesnt seem interested to settle down with me. i have always been having this fear that this is all just a game to the one hosting it. im all prepared to lose you anytime. it is just a question of when you are going to initiate a break up, most probably after i come back from my vacation trip?

i could simply cancel my trip in order to salvage our relationship, you are definitely more important to me than my relatives and the money loss from the cancellation of the air tickets. but frankly speaking, what can i do now? occupy you time so that i could postpone our break up? there is nothing i can do to keep a heart that has no place for me.

it feels lousy being an abandoned toy. am i one? why ain't you satisfied with me? im willing to give you everything i have. but you desire beyond that. im just not good enough for you.

im not good enough for you.
im not good enough for you.
im not good enough for you.
im not good enough for you.
im not good enough for you.
im not good enough for you.
im not good enough for you.
im not good enough for you.
im not good enough for you.
im not good enough for you.
im not good enough for you.
im not good enough for you.
im not good enough for you.
im not good enough for you.
im not good enough for you.
im not good enough for you.
im not good enough for you.
im not good enough for you.
im not good enough for you.
im not good enough for you.
im not good enough for you.
im not good enough for you.

veiled honesty.

2008-11-28T12:01:00.002+08:00

...

maybe i tried too hard. everybody should keep their own secrets. good that i havnt completely revealed mine.

hiatus

2008-11-23T08:20:00.002+08:00

let me declare this blog dead for some time. due to some personal problems, im too vexed to sort out my thoughts and pen them down in an articulate manner.

i cant sing, i cant speak proper english, and im not attractive.

dolphin!!!

2008-11-17T00:06:00.004+08:00

i can make whistle registers!!! its called 海豚音in chinese because whistle tones are so sharp that they resemble the cries of a dolphin. omg, i didnt know that i can make whistle tones until jing da prompted me to sing alone with minnie riperton's "loving you". haha amazing!!! i can now communicate with dolphins =p

and i found out that i can hit as high as A6!!! thats damn gay shit man!!! most guys cant even make a whistle tone, but i can actually hit A6!!! thats like... 9 keys higher than the minimum C6 to be considered a whistle register.
C6, C#6, D6, D#6, E6, F6, F#6, G6, G#6, A6... !!! look at that!!! im so talented man haha

and Minnie Riperton's "loving you" the highest note is only E6. which means to say that... its chicken feet for me LMAO

Minnie Riperton - Loving you

and im now a new fans of mariah carrey!!! she is so damn imba can!!! her voice can go as high as G8!!!
thats like... 2 octave higher than me!!! omg!!! 2 octave!!! thats... 12 notes higher than me.. which is 44 keys higher than me!!! =.="

Mariah Carrey - Emotions

watch this video all the way to the end!!! her godly highest pitch of G8 is right at the very end of the song!!!

he won, they lost

2008-11-05T22:59:00.003+08:00

the SHIT

Obama's victory in this election suggests bad news for US growth in the next 4 year.

one of the reasons to obama's popularity is his promise to increase the government's funding in reviving the declining industries which US does not have comparative advantage in, such as agriculture and manufacturing industries, in order to reduce the structural unemployment in US.

Due to globalisation and global free trade, comparative advantage erosion has cause serious structural unemployment in primary and secondary industries like agriculture and manufacturing in US. and the number of people affected by this structural unemployment makes up a huge % of the US population.

Obama's promise to increase the government's help in implementing protectionism over these industries has gained him support from many people related to these industries.

on the surface, it seems like Obama's promised actions would reduce the unemployment level and raise the overall standard of living in the US. But in the long run, its going to cost US heavily. Redistribution of wealth may sound appealing to many, but equity does not necessarily means good.

US is unable to compete with countries like China in these industries because US do not have comparative advantage in them. By channeling more funds into these industries to protect them, obama may be able to save those workers from losing their jobs temporarily. But it is definitely not an appropriate move. The purpose of protectionism is to offer an advantaged environment to local infant industries, which the country has potential in, compared to foreign countries. But it is obvious that US do not have the potential in gaining comparative advantage in these industries, because of the high exchange rate of US currency and the high cost of production in US.

In the long run, US will only be pouring money into a huge black hole which will only suck in all the inputs and not produce any output - money. No matter how hard and how long the government tries, these "infant" industries will never grow up and generate income for the country. They will only grow into "huge babies" and continue to suck off the country's income.

one good example of "huge babies" is Malaysia's Proton cars. yeah... Proton cars, after 30 yeahs of government subsidise, it is still an "infant" industry needing protectionism. smart government.

so, US will simply take its profits from other industries and feed these "huge babies" which will never grow up. how would economy grow like this? there will not be actual growth of the economy.

further more, since less funds are channeled into other industries which the country has comparative advantage in, the country is losing out in its long term productivity. there will not be potential growth in the economy.

hence, obama is the on the wrong move that will cause US to have no actual growth nor potential growth. smart Americans. they love Obama.

lmao

2008-10-21T17:47:00.003+08:00

found it while browsing a friend's website. haha

i will be a better man who is good enough for u.

2008-10-18T23:45:00.002+08:00

been speaking to jing da about my relationship problems. when your are under stress or having problems, its really important that u have someone to speak to, to lend a listening ear, to be there to hear your complaints, to make you feel that there is someone who understands you.

its already been 1 week since i last met you. i know that you are busy, so i wont insist on meeting you.

in a relationship, trust is very impt. and i choose to trust every word u said. u told me that u are serious about this relationship. i believe you, that your heart is true and you wouldnt treat this relationship as a game.

i was for once really confused. what should i do now and how should i position myself? your response is always cold and antagonistic. i really didnt know what to do. but jing da told me that since you wouldnt take the initiative, then i should do it. im willing to give, the rest is up to you whether to accept or not. dont break my heart alright.

i like you, and i want to love you, though i dont really know what love is. dear i love you, how sweet is that?

2008-10-16T23:43:00.002+08:00

craving for your attention.

just had a haircut. i look much neater now. the first person i wanted to impress with my new look was actually you. the first person to come across my mind after i had my haircut was u. but u didnt want to meet me then. sad right? there are a lot of things i want to tell you, but i couldnt. you are so near yet so far.

btw, i read from men's health that drinking milk b4 slp helps to promote muscle growth. our muscles grow 2X as fast when we are slpping than when we are awake. im going to try it!!! i still remember one of my classmates once commented that i look so thin from the side. yeah, i dont have a thick chest. i had to squeeze out a cleavage if im asked to. shame man!!! im not aiming to become a muscleman or whatever, but at least a thicker chest which will make me look more manly... so... i will start drinking nehneh b4 i slp every night from now on!!!

2008-10-15T20:43:00.003+08:00

things are not going smooth, be it family, studies and relationship.

this is the first time ever i talk about my family. my parents are going to divorce soon, and im actually quite supportive of it. it will be better for everyone, better than having to endure such pain everyday. separation is not necessarily bad.

as for my studies, im finding much difficulties preparing for A lvl. there is too little time left, no more than 3 weeks. im aiming for ABCCC. but it seems rather unreachable given the pace im improving now.

and for me and you, i really dont know what to do. i know that u r busy preparing for A lvl too, thats why i try not to disturb u too much. but when it comes to a point where u wouldnt reply to my msgs at all even though i have already restricted myself to just one or 2 msgs a day, how am i to reassure myself that your heart still belong to me. i dont even feel like talking to you on msn or msg u now, because i know that even in the best case senerio, it would take u at least 1 hr to reply to my msn and 4-5hr to reply to my sms. i have made myself appear pathetic. im like a little child, begging for sweets from you, and u simply wouldnt bother.

maybe i think too much. to illustrate our relationship now, im like a space base, and u being a mischievious satellite playing hide-and-seek with me. despite me constantly sending out signals to detect your presence, you wouldnt reveal yourself.

a relationship needs to be managed. a couple need to make time for each other no matter how busy they are. and i dont ask for much, i dont ask u out to play or watch movies because i know that we need to study for A lvl, all i want is to be able to accompany you and study together.

i once asked you this qn: "aint you afraid that i would run away from you one day?" and u replied: "if you really want to run away, there is nothing i could do about it." i agreed with you. but now, it seems like im the one who should worry about it. im not sure if u still like me. are you thinking of leaving? come to think about it, u have nv taken any initiative to speak to me or meet me, except for the first time we went out to study at the mac. all these while, it has been me who request to see you. i sometimes feel that you are being pushed into this relationship with me.

do you really want to be with me?

im so silly right? despite complaining so much, i still urge to see you, to be with you, even if im somewhat disposable to u. i have already given you my heart, and i m not going to take it back.

do you still remember what i told u? "how do i run away when my heart is already tied to yours?" i did mean it when i said it, and i still do now.

2008-10-08T20:10:00.002+08:00

u dont know how happy u have made me these few days.
im waiting for the right moment to pop the qn.
is it too early?

im like a little child in front of you, so frail so anxious.
i miss your hug, i miss your kiss, i miss u and i couldnt afford to miss u...

i want to hold your hands, and share with you my everyday life, to tell you how much u mean to me, to accompany you to gaze the stars every night, to kiss your forehead and whisper "good night" to your ears before u turn in every night, and to look into your eyes and tell you that i love you, yes i do love you.

im a little crazy now. i have always insisted on not to speak of love so frivolously...
rrrrrr... but right now, "i like you" is not strong enough to describe the intense feelings i have for you!!!

just pictures.

2008-10-07T23:07:00.001+08:00

zen and i

over our heads

2008-10-06T10:35:00.004+08:00

sometimes when i look up to the sky above, and i see a clear blue sky, i would wonder: are you looking at the the sky too? and do you feel that under this same piece of sky, somewhere there is someone missing you. and do you miss him too?

i feel so insecure.

2008-10-04T12:57:00.001+08:00

30 days left to A lvl.

the countdown begins.

2008-09-29T14:59:00.003+08:00

i was slightly drunk last night. i should never drink with empty stomach. it was just a small bottle of vodka and it already got me staggering on the way home. i cant really drink well, just socially entertain friends and take a few sips. but i have never become this drunk in my life. a small bottle of vodka is not too much for me. it was because i was drinking with an empty stomach.

woke up in the morning with some headache.

it seems like today isnt much better than yesterday.

2008-09-28T18:27:00.002+08:00

take a wide leap forward, cross over this hurdle, and may tomorro be bright and sunny again.

side track a bit, i was rather surprised just now because an MP came to visit us. if im not wrong, his name is some doctor Kumar, yeah a black indian... ok nvm, give him some respect.
he is quite a peasant guy, aside from that he is black, and he is indian.
ok sorry again.
he was here to inquire on residential welfare and estate management and things as such.
its my first encounter with an mp, and i almost wanted him to reflect to Jakumar, the head of MOE, that all schools should have fully air-conditioned classroom.

i was joking.

2008-09-26T17:40:00.002+08:00

life is always full of setbacks.

here is my prelim result:

maths: D
physics: u
computing: S
GP: E
econs: unknown yet

ok, i screwed up my prelims. i cant go anywhere with this kind of results.

im having my final round of mock-A lvl papers in 2 weeks time before the actual A lvl papers.
i really have got to study really hard this time, or else, i can bid farewell to my uni life.

i hope to go to NTU and get a degree in economics.
sigh...

the great depression

2008-09-25T18:48:00.002+08:00

my comp has been down for the past few days. i couldnt identify where the problem lies at.
after being turned on for about 30min, my comp would go into a great depression. it works perfectly fine at start up, but after around 30min, it would suddenly start lagging like mad for no reason. the degreee of laggness is like... i click on start buttom, the whole system would freeze for like 10-20sec before the start menu slowly pops up.

DAMN FREAKING ANNOYING right!!!

i suspected that it was due to virus attack, could be a malware, trojan horse, spyware, worm... or anything related to virus. so i did a full system virus check with Avira, but nothing was found.
ok... so i turned my suspicion to memory overloading, but a null detection after scanning through the computer processes in task manager proved me wrong.
fine... so i did a storage capacity check and found that i have only 20g out of 160g hardisk memory left. the0retically although it may seem like my hardisk is almost full 20g of space left would more than sufficient to handle system processing, i still decided to delete some unused files to free up more hardisk space to eliminate the odd possibilities. again, the result buffled me.

so, i did a hardisk defragmentation to rearrange my memory bytes to allow faster system processing. still, to no avail.

then there came my last resort, i did a registry check and defragmentation. the registry doctor derected some 200+ error in the registries and corrected the error and later defragmented the registry. now... im just waiting to see it it helps to solve my problem or not. if it really couldnt help me, i really have no choice but to reinstall the whole windows os. dman... screw it man... i would lose all my data in the comp!!!

--------------------------------------------------

anyway, these few days has not been pleasant to me.
i dont know u anymore. who are u? i guess i was right in the first place whem i stereotyped about young ppl nowadays. they do things impulsively. they do things when they feel like doing it. when they feel good about it. when they "FEEL" good about it. and the next minute, when they dont feel good about it, they change their mind and back out of it.
u r not even sure now if u like me or not. how u had elated me when u told me that u like me, now u shattered me in a even greater magnitude.
its like, when u take a ride on the roller coaster, the cabin takes u to the highest point, letting u enjoy some momentary joy, and the next instant, it speeds down to the lowest pit.
cruel isnt it? letting u taste some sweetness and later pawn u in great bitterness.

darkness consumed me!!! lol

Tuesday.

2008-09-23T13:50:00.002+08:00

new blogskin, i spend around 3hr last night to build it. i like it very much, especially the dark shading effect. it was done using air brush in paint, took me quite a while to do the shading, because the blog background used the combination of a main background picture and a repetition of basic tile pix. so i had to make sure that the shading i did gel up nicely. of course i could have used an additional overlayer of picture with just the shades so that i can simply layer over the shades instead of painting the shade over the background, but the idea only came up after i had already began on the air brush painting, so i just heck care and continued.

the falling leaves are kinda cute too. i took the source code of the falling snow effect from my previous blog and modified it to change the snow into different forms of leaves and increased the number of repetitive leaves to create this autumn falling leaves effect.

maybe i should work on the cursor too. its a bit plain right? with just a bullseye mark.

time for a change.

2008-09-22T20:44:00.002+08:00

today is my emo day again. u made me sad.
why cant u say something nice to me? why isit that i always hear those unpleasant stuff from u?

i need a change. i wanna be different, for a change of mood.

2008-09-12T00:02:00.001+08:00

maybe i should start believing that i too can have my very own version of fairytale... and it has already begun... right right right???

should i? not?

2008-09-11T19:55:00.004+08:00

its addictive to hear u calling me "kor"... my heart would just melt away like butter on a hot pan... yeah... its my soft spot...

i must keep my composure though. stay calm stay calm.

im scared that this is just an illusion.
maybe, maybe, tml i wake up, i would not hear from u again, because your heart has already changed.

young hearts tend to be changeable.
they are like opals, that shines different lights when exposed to a spectrum of lights.
they go with so-called "feelings". and feeling is a unstable object.
today, i feel good, tml, i may not.
so u see, "feeling" is not a reliable entity.
today, u feel pleasant with me, tml will u still?
i feel insecured banking my hope on something that is so impetuous.
is it real of what u feel towards me? or isit just an impulse, that would fade off the next minute?

i reminded myself for the umpteenth time that i should trust you in guilt of my sceptism. it didnt help. i guess the problem lies in me.

there will always be other guys around u, eyeing hungrily on u, ever ready to pamper u with romance whenever they see a chance to get near u when u feel down or depressed. would u be firm enough to resist the temptations?

i suddenly feel so old... maybe i think too much.

where r ur wings my angel?

2008-09-09T20:31:00.002+08:00

when i sat besides u, i almost wanted to disregard what others may think and just hold your hand, and hold on to it. i wanted to tell u that i want to have you, and could u be mine? it was an intense internal struggle, and the conscious overpowered irrationality.

do u feel tired?
cos u been running around in my head the whole day...

2008-09-07T22:09:00.002+08:00

could this be a beautiful trap?

i trying hard not to fall into it, but my heart wouldnt comply to my order.

what if u are just another one of those love cheats? im being very cautious now, the deeper i dwell into this pit, the harder it will be for me to escape the pull.

r u for real?

2008-07-24T14:40:00.002+08:00

attrocious. talent elites are holding on to powerful positions, without their virtues.

disgusting. a bunch of scums.

nvm, dont let them spoil my mood.

on the other hand, im seeing some lights. lets explore the impossibles together =)

2008-07-16T16:28:00.002+08:00

i must be crazy now. been thinking of you the whole day. waiting in front of the comp, staring blankly at the msn window, wonderring when you will be online. wanna call you or msn you, but i just couldnt pick up the courage.

its just an temporary infatuation.

2008-07-15T23:40:00.001+08:00

how do i get close to you if you keep pushing me away?

let it go, let it be.

2008-07-11T19:48:00.001+08:00

everybody is talking, but nobody is willing to communicate at a meaningful level.

2008-06-26T04:55:00.001+08:00

to live with a man, u must understand him, not love him.

to live with a woman, u must love her, do not ever try to understand her.

Super Junior Happy!!!

2008-06-09T18:32:00.003+08:00

Yeah!!! Its Super Junior Happy a.k.a Super Junior H~~

Super Junior H is a new sub-group from Super Junior. they have just released their newest album "Cooking? Cooking?" on 5/6/2008 haha.
Its a very lively and bubbly album with all the high and upbeat songs like "Cooking? cooking? ", "Pajama Party" and "You & I" =)

haha Super junior ROX hoho

2008-06-07T17:24:00.001+08:00

Your Inner Gender is Male

You are rational, matter of fact, and quite dominant.

You like to get things done, without any emotional messiness.

You truly don't understand most women. And you definitely feel more comfortable around men.

No doubt about it. You're a guy - at least on the inside.

What's Your Inner Gender?

omg omg omg

2008-05-28T21:40:00.001+08:00

why on earth got ppl so cute one!!!

blushing... =)

i will give u my heart <3 <3 <3

may life be blissful again with love <3

2008-05-22T19:47:00.001+08:00

Can u imagine how lame nyjc is?
i had to do corrective work order for being late to schl.
pls, someone remove quek from his post.

admire our hardwork, me and my fellow comrades.

neat hur? its for our gp exam tml. =.="

2008-05-10T10:46:00.002+08:00

i talk about mutual respect.

the final code of mutual respect is:
Do not impose your own set of believes onto others.

u may think dat the way u do things in great, but dat doesnt mean dat u r warranted to modify others'. u simply do not understand the ultimate aim of life - to be happy. wat is the use of doing things perfectly when u r not happy? others may not be doing things well, but they are happy with it. and when u force them to change, they may superficially improve their skills, but are they better off emotionally? we live to be happy, not to become a perfect working machine dat can accomplish tasks flawlessly.

u should be bornt as a machine, not a human being.

gosh, how to i drill this simple understanding into your head?

2008-05-10T10:31:00.002+08:00

yes it sux. life would be better off without u.
its not wrong to live in your own world. most of the world do dat.
but it is definitely wrong to belligerently include others into your commanding lifestyle.
i too have my own set of lifestyle. and i dont want to change mine.
u are happy with your lifestyle, so am i.
i do not see why i should alter mine so as to accommodate to yours.

i do not want my life to revolve around yours.
i did not intervene your lifestyle, so shouldnt u now.
there is no throne of yours, and im not ur peasant.
put aside ur high-and-mighty ego, and perhaps i would look at you in a different light.
b4 dat, i shun your presence.

why cant we live without incurring cost on others?

Haircut

2008-05-07T19:14:00.002+08:00

new haircut. it may look the same as b4, well its just the preliminary cut of my desired hairstyle. the secret has yet to reveal itself haha. it will take at least 2-3 more months b4 it can get to the skeleton of its actual style.

in the mean while... more Super Junior!!!
"Marry u"

2008-05-06T22:44:00.002+08:00

get more tanned, wait for my hair to grow longer.

just had maths lecture test today. the topics involved are Complex Numbers, Probabilities and Permutation and Combination.
think i screwed it up.
How could i have forgotten the formal presentation working for answer for quadratic roots of unity, and the general formula for circle!!! i even found out the radius for the circle, but the method to find the center of circle just wouldnt flash when i need it the most!!!
damn it!!! Complex Numbers is difficult!!!

and life too...

2008-04-30T20:02:00.002+08:00

throughout your life, ppl come and go. they come into your life, and exit later. while some tend to stay a little longer than the others, some come and go in a blink. many of those we would try hard to keep, but they just wouldnt stay. you think that they could be an essential part of your life, to be exactly, your future, but they think otherwise, dat they are not very much related to you. they would rather be a passerby.

so how would u take it? feeling unimportant? fret at your own powerlessness? tried all your might and all you get is to see them reply with a contempt gesture and hurriedly walked on out of your sight, in search of their own desired happiness.

someone is hurt. and the wound would stay for sometime, true for most, yet some managed to move on almost immediately, miraculous isnt it?

so for the model case, should we to pursue justice, who would we denounce guilty?
well, someone is hurt, so someone else is definitely to take the blame. but who?
should we blame the unfeeling heart? or the protagonist victim?
i dont know. we dont know.

so while you continue to curse and swear in your heart dat the heartless being meet his justice one day in multi-fold, you may want to learn some clergy from those speedy healers and recover as fast as possible to prepare from your impending onslaughts.

good luck sons and girls. god cant help u much. its about yourself
=)

Super Junior M!!!

2008-04-28T18:44:00.003+08:00

yes, its Super Junior!!!
nope, not exactly, but Super Junior M!!!
yup yup, its a sub-group from Super Junior, targeting mainly at the China market.
M stands for mandarin.
hoho, anyway, Super Junior M consists of Hangeng, Donghae, Siwan, reelwook... the other 3 i duuno and dun care lol.

hoho yes, the new album carried on the usual high and upbeat musical style of Super Junior. and it rocks!!!

the only thing dat put me off is dat some of the translated songs from their original korean versions really sound very weird, i mean... im too used to listening to them in korean, but now its changed to chinese version, its simply mismatching to me.

anyway, i still prefer the mother group, original Super Junior!!!

Volar~~

2008-04-27T20:22:00.004+08:00

( This is another Volar activity organised by the Volar mother committee, i couldnt find the poster for the Volar! Adventure Race )

i took part in the Volar! Adventure Race organised by SMU this morning.
There are 3 other members from my class in my team, namely DK, Ankush and Benjamin.

the whole competition started early in the morning at 7am. it worked like the amazing race in which we were given clues to travel all over singapore to the check points hidden in them. there were tasks which we were supposed to complete at each check point before we can move on to the next. we did activities like climbing from ground floor to the top of a 40 storey building, diving 3 meter deep for clues, skating by kalang, biking uphill to the top of mount faber, mystery quests... and not forgetting dat we ran for the whole journey of 33km( well, we did cheat in between by taking cab to save our stamina, but it was only for a small distance. )

woot, the whole competition was really physically draining. we perspired like crazy and drenched the vest given to us. and i must not leave out the scorching sunlight we endured. running under the noon sun along the roads in not a easy feat alrite!!!

though the whole thing was tough, we did enjoyed ourselves =D
Volar~~ im going to take part in this event again next year, if they do organise it again.

BURN BURN BURN

2008-04-22T22:59:00.002+08:00

yes, burn on man. burn dat midnite oil with brimming passion and aspirations!!!

look at the time, its already 11pm.
and look at my work list, for as far as my eyes can reach, the end is yet within sight.

there is maths tutorial, gp essay and comprehension passage, computing tutorial and practicals, econs corrections.
wow, pls just slit my throat my dear tutors

2008-04-19T22:46:00.002+08:00

i wont forget today. we are comfortable with each other around, and we laughed and joked, and everything happened just like a movie scene.
and we are very sure that we are the best friends in the world.

no matter what happens, i will remember dat i have u as my best friend.
and im glad that u did not accept me back then, cos if u did, we might not have been able to keep our close friendship today.

one thing i firmly believe: friendship is stronger than love, becos friendship lasts forever and is unconditional, but love is temporary and is situational.

so even if now god offer me a wish, i will hope for our eternal friendship instead of a chance to develop further with u.
i hope u happy, and i will always be around you and looking at u from your back. and u will know dat no matter what happens, there is always me around u, and also our bwg.
cos we are the best friends. long live bwg, and long live me-and-u. true friends.

ignorant mortal

2008-04-18T01:28:00.002+08:00

im ordinary.

i have it in me, and u can never have it because u are too blinded by this ostentatious world to understand the beauty of being ordinary.

i dont have a wide circle of friends, im not fashion-sensitive, im not rich, but im happy.
u? r u happy?
ur life is classy, but u r not happy.
ironic.

u can continue to dwell in your dream of posh race, and lament on the imperfections in your life, and be fashionable but dissatisfied.
i will go on being ordinary yet happy.

Make it happen

2008-04-14T17:49:00.002+08:00

alrite im changing hairstyle.
im just too lazy to spend my precious time in the morning to style my hair, as u know that short hair needs constant care.

so... maybe i will change to long hair.
have been keeping short hair since young, its gonna be a challenge to whether it will turn out pleasant, or horrendous... =.="

anyway if i really look hideous in long hair, i can always cut it short immediately.

im anticipating... with baited breath!!!

ok i was really bored

2008-04-13T11:22:00.001+08:00

2008-04-09T18:18:00.001+08:00

Super Junior "happiness"

2008-03-31T18:04:00.002+08:00

Super Junior "Miracle"!!!!!

Catch Me If You Can!!!

2008-03-03T20:09:00.001+08:00

The issue of illegal downloading has been quite a hot topic in singapore lately. From the much debated ODEX case last year, to the recent ACJC students incident, the signs of authorities tightening their grip on internet intellectual property rights control has stirred up much commotion in town, setting many guilty souls worrying for their safety.

Many ppl are wondering with how the authorities can manage to catch them downloading illegal stuff even after they have deleted everything from their computers.
The answer is simple: All the downloaded stuff were never erased from your computer hard-disk when you deleted them.
Why?
This is bacause all the icons you see on the computer are not the actual data, but actually a short-cut, or link which points to the actual address of the data on your hard-disk. When you download something, windows will physically write these data on the hard-disk, and then create a link to these data in the form of an icon. so the icons you see are actually nothing but simply a link to what you want to get to ultimately. And everything you see on the computer are icons. eg: ( lalala.mp3, hahaha.zip, "new folder"... everything u see!!! )
Therefore, when u delete an icon, you are simply removing the link to the data, but the physical data is still on the hard-disk. but u cannot get to the data, because the link is no longer available, so your windows system will tell you dat the data could not be found, because it does not know where it is when you delete the link.
However, u can still find the data, if you use some programmes to read through your hard-disk, byte by byte, and you will ultimately find the data.
Erm-herm, so dont let me get my hands on your hard-disk, its easy for me to find out what porn websites yo have visited and what porn videos you have watched!!!
if i can, so can the government.

and if u ask me, how to really remove those data from your computer completely?
yes, there is a way, the only way.
( no other solutions unless you wan to consider burning your hard-disk to completely destroy it. )
the only safe way to remove data is by overwriting it. when you overwrite a piece of data, you are corrupting the data. You choose the group of data, and tell your hard-disk writer to erase the data and write something else over it. hence the previous data is completely being replaced by something else.
this is a only way to get rid of the evidence of your visit to those porn sites!!!
and by the US national security standard, you will need to over-write the targeted data 3 times to be considered safe. and the US military information security standard, its 7 times.
there are many free programme online that help you to overwrite unwanted data. try find some for your own security.

oops, i side-tracked too much. back to illegal downloads.

if u still remember the odex incidence. the company ODEX, the sole anime distribution of SEA which hacked into the comp of many and scanned their hard-disk ILLEGALLY to find evidence of them downloading illegal anime online, and then take these illegally obtained evidence to our IPS ( Singnet, starhub, pacific ) and request for a record of their online actitivies, and later sent letters to the victims extorting $5k fine each person claiming dat they have record evidence to their illegal downloads. but in the end, they plan backfired with a group of enraged expertise pressing charges against ODEX for illegally hacking into other ppl's computers to get the information, and they they illegally extort money from these ppl as they are only in charge of distributing the anime, they do not own the intellectual property rights to the animes. since the really owners companies did not do anything to the illegal downloads, ODEX as merely the disbutor have no rights to pursue the case.

and recently some ACJC students were caught using P2P programmes to download stuff using school wireless network. one student from my computing class was caught too =/
and not forgetting the case of many NUS students being caught and charged in court for downloading music in school campus some 2 years back.

now you know dat not only hackers will hack your computers rite?
legal companies too hack your comps, and even government bodies, to check on you to see if u ahve been doing illegal stuff.

are you now equally worried for your own safety? why do you have to if you have been abiding the laws? hehe

well, we all must protect ourselves.
1st: install a good anti-virus, to your comp safe from malwares. others many hide malware on your comp which will send information of your comp without your knowing.
2nd: install a good firewall system, to prevent others from establishing a connection with your comp and access information on it. do not rely on windows firewall, its useless to even the most amature hacker. and do you know dat all p2p programmes like limewire or emule opens ports to your comps to others and allow them to access your comp? and windows system itself has many loopholes, professional can hack into your comp without using p2p programmes. there are simply too many ways to hack.
3rd: use a data overwriter to delete your unwanted data.
4th: install programme regulator to help u control what programme u want to run on your comp, so hacker programme on your comp cannot autorun without your knowing.

for anti-virus, try avast. its free, and its a professional level programme, easy to use, use little memory, daily auto update on list new viruses, run in background( no pop ups ), and very reliable. AVG also not bad. Norton and PC-cilin sux.
for firewall, try peerguardian 2. free, user-frenly, use little memory. daily auto-undate on list of hacker and government body IP address( not only rat hackers hack your comp, some companies hire professional hacking companies to hack into your comp to check if u have downloaded their company stuff illegally, and government too hack into your comp to check on you, for various agendas ). peerguardian will block all those suspected IP when they try to access your comp, and it also shows you a record of IP that accessd your comp.
and on average, when you are connected to internet, even when you are not doing anything, not even using internet explorer, about 100 IPs will access your comp. u still think you are very secured? just dat u didnt know.
for data overwriter, the file shredding function with DAP 8 is good enough.
for programme regulator, try zonealarm. it will show stop any programme dat try to run on your comp and show warnings.

and lastly, i will talk about your home wireless network. i know many have told you to lock and secure your wireless network rite? because not only dat these ppl are freeriding onto your network and sharing your bandwidth and causing your internet access to be slow, they may also do illegal stuff using your network and get you into trouble.

but let me tell you this, this idea is stupid.
u think you network is safe after your locked it with a password?
now let me tell you dat i can crack your password within 5 min.
u just type "crack wireless system password" in google, and u will be instantly offered 101 ways on how to get your hand on the password of any wireless network u want.
and now, ppl are using your network to do anything they like when u still thinks dat u are very safe.
and when police checked down on your network, you have nothing to defend yourself. u locked your network, no-one else but u can use the network. so u r the only possible culprit for the misdeeds. and u will bear the full consequences for the illegal actions done by something else. scapegoat scapegoat.
so u should always open your network for public use. so if anything happens, u just say dat ur network is open, all the bad stuff is done by someone else.
if u r worried about shared bandwidth slowing your internet, u can assign a main stream of bandwidth to your own computer address, leaving only a small amount of bandwidth for others to use. or, u can use parallel pipeline when using internet. the more seeds u connect to, or the more connections you establish with the destination server, the large the portion of bandwidth you will take.
maybe i will teach yoou how to do dat next time. im kinda tired now.

internet is never a safe place, if u do not know how to protect yourself.

yawnz, i go orh orh le...

2008-02-27T19:40:00.001+08:00

'if someone could live without you, why then, can't you live without that particular someone?' And if you spent your days and nights hanging on to the past, how then, can you move on and see your future, and what is yet to be?

this a quote from someone else, and i totally love it.
agree?

GO Obama GO!!!

2008-02-21T23:06:00.002+08:00

before i begin, let me declare myself as an anti-american.

This handsome black shit is our beloved Mr Barack Obama!!!

And this ugly old tart is Hilary clinton.

im not supporting Hilary. I would prefer Obama to win the coming presidential election. This is because Obama is a brainless shit. He is always talking about changes to promote himself. He is full of ambitions to make changes, but when people ask him what specifically he is going to do to realise his words, he become dumb.
yeah, he is a brainless shit full of empty promises.
That why i support him to become the next US president, for i would very much like to see US approaching its downfall in the hands of Obama.

GO Obama GO!!! destory America and do me proud!!!

PS: America is populated largely by the white pigs and the black shits.

Bye Bye Edison

2008-02-21T21:10:00.002+08:00

At a earlier press conference with Hong Kong media today. Edison has announced his departure from Hong Kong entertainment industry.

Its a pity to his leaving.

Actually im quite sympathetic to his plight and i feel that he should not be made to solely bear the consequences to this recent sex photo saga. im not saying that im approval of his "vibrant" lifestyle, its a personal choice of life, but the impact these pictures made on the society is in-negligible. However, it takes two hands to clap, Edison did not force Gillian and Celia to pose for him. they did it out of their own accords. Now that the photos were being stolen and illegally distributed, triggering a series of public accusations, both parties should be equally responsible for the social percussions. But it seems like Edison is now the only person whom everyone is blaming now. Gillian simply brushed off her actions by saying that it was "a moment of folly due to immaturity" and gained sympathy and forgiveness. Celia kept silence, and hid for shelter.
And the paparazis were really vicious to have seized this opportunity to revenge and destroy Edison ( Edison had been keeping a poor relationship with the media with his "colourful languages" ), by relentlessly reporting all his negatively related news daily and blowing this whole incidence out of proportion.

Its quite obvious that Edison is made a victim of this whole incidence. Though his actions are debatable, but the pictures were intended to be solely for personal collection memoir. We should not make him the subject to the superficial social just accusation.

and... haha if u r interested to see the pictures too, u may ask me for the link.
=)

worst TV commercials in history

2008-02-20T22:25:00.004+08:00

yes, as the title said: worst tv commercials in history.

watch this commercial n u will understand why.

ya... now u understand?

Roystan Tan came to nyjc

2008-02-20T17:51:00.003+08:00

yes, the guy who shot great movies like "15" and "881" came to nyjc to deliver his speech and interact with our students to share his precious experiences.

he showed us some videos which are very abstract in content (which means to say dat i dont understand). and he is a chatty person, with silly laughters. He went on talking about how he entered film-making and some of the obstacles he met along the way and how he overcome them and managed his stress.

yeah, he is a role model to all us. we should aspire like him to become successful young adults.

block tests are coming.
more stress follow.

Ouch!!! MY NECK!!!

2008-02-19T21:13:00.002+08:00

i think i strained my neck muscles somehow. its now aching madly.
my neck is so stiff that i cant even turn my head around or bend down my head.
everytime i try to turn or bend my head, my hind-neck muscles will feel a sharp pain.

its really irritating when everytime i want to look else where, i will have to turn my body around or bend my beck in order to gain vision of what i want to see.

ouch ouch ouch!!!

i think i have over-spent this month, and last month too.
and its now time to tighten my budgets =(

my jenny

2008-02-18T21:51:00.003+08:00

i skipped school today, partially because i was late, but mainly because that i did not feel like going to school.
so i went to the doctor to get an mc to excuse myself from school.

and i went home afterwards and played a few games of dota.
soon enough, i grew bored of the game, and turned to online movies. while browsing through the list of top hit-rate movies, i spotted "Forest Gump". yes, it is one of my all-time favorite movie. i remember last watching it some 5 years back.

Forest is a retard, "stupid is as a stupid" is his catch-phrase, and he is a fortunate devoted man, and he is the wisest man in the world.
And i respect and envy him.

he had his jenny. She left him times and again, and he waited for her return.
Forest said "there were times when there was nothing left, except for myself, i miss jenny a lot."

and i, to my jenny.

"there were times when there was nothing left, except for myself, i miss my jenny a lot."

jenny, will u ever turn around and take a good look at me? im always around, pretending dat im not, because u wouldn'n accept me, so i have to make myself invisible, when all i want is to be by your side.

7 years.
7 years have past by, and there grew our friendship, and you insisted on our friendship. And i abide to the rules, and we are still friends.

How can anyone speak of "love" be so frivolously? hence, this is not love.

i feel awful when you are not around.

{ //end lamentation;
return 0; }

Super Junior!!!

2008-02-14T23:19:00.001+08:00

wow they rox!!!

2008-02-13T18:50:00.002+08:00

i went for haircut today at amk hub for a change of hairstyle.

but it looked pretty screwed up.
i shouldnt have sloped my sideburn and shortened my top.
now i look very stupid diao...

i shall take it as a lesson to learn, i will know how to refine it when my hair grows a bit longer and go for a trim to touch up on the wrongly cut parts.

woot, im so busy!!!

2008-01-27T23:36:00.001+08:00

i dont want to live too long,
i mean, i dont wish for ripe old age.

im happy enough to live till my 50s and leave dis world.
the thought of myself being a ugly senile old man sends a chill down my spines.
plus, there is nothing to hold back at such old age, why not leave earlier before life turns sour.

life is beautiful,
when u were still young,
dats what i think...

-----------------------------------------------------------------

im so jaded, of everything.
everything.

i cant find the motivation to spur myself on.
im just doing things, which im supposed to, not because i want to.

it makes me all the more appear to be pathetic.

life is technically fair, absolutely discriminating.
i hate it, i hate it.
i once had everything, supposedly.
but before im matured enough to cherish and enjoy it,
its gone before my eye.
and i, in my early childhood, was supposed to face it all by myself,
yes, all by myself, no one was alongside me, to give me support when i needed it the most.
now im grown up, i dont need it anymore.
compare to other more fortunate peers, my future is at large, while they have theirs laid before them to choose.
i need to work hard for my own future. i have to, from scratch.

final evolution

2008-01-22T18:18:00.000+08:00

lets start making each others' day pleasant by being friendly to everyone, including those whom u dont like.

we are human beings, we are a colonial specie, we should not harbour prejudice against each others.
Lets start to make changes to our contaminated mindsets and eliminate discriminations against ppl of different paths from ours.
( except for the fucking principal and vice-principal of nyjc )

2008-01-13T17:51:00.000+08:00

can anyone imagine how busy i have been?

i dont even have time for a game of dota.
i love poly. i should have gone there.

went for cip at thiong baru helping old folks clean their room units.
its... dirty, dirty, and dirty.
i can imagine my mum chasing me with a barang if my own room is 1/10 as dirty as their rooms. ( my mum is a clean freak, she can scream at the top of her voice at a small speck of duct on the floor... my good family bringing up )

after dat, went to j8 to find cover for my ipod touch( i love it => ), but to no avail as the apple shop has been replaced by a nokia shop.
on my way exiting j8, i met weipeng.
so we went to the new arcade at j8 for some games.
the new arcade is quite stylish haha...
we played repeated games of basketball dunking haha... quite fun, but im very noob at it.
my highest score was only 280, when his was 786.
lol... not even 1/3 of his... im so ashamed!!!

but nvm, god is fair.
he gave me good look to make up for my inferior talents.
so its a draw between me n weipeng!!!

2008-01-07T20:22:00.000+08:00

yeah~~
i received my ipod redemption letter already =)
tml go orchard get my ipod touch!!!

im a happy kid now

ipod touch!!!

2008-01-01T18:09:00.001+08:00

im getting my ipod touch!!!

haha i signed up for singtel 3mb broadband plan... and they are giving me a free ipod touch!!! yeah!!!

i cant wait to get my hand on it!!! haha

new year resolution

2008-01-01T15:50:00.000+08:00

my new year resolution is very simple:

i will reach 60kg by the end of 2008!!!
我要肥我要肥

btw, im thinking of buying nokia 5610
dunno nice or not... im quite noob when it comes to IT gadgets =.="

xmas outing

2007-12-30T18:19:00.000+08:00

went out wif classmates on the night of xmas.

had fun =)

agnes, me, douglas, wan xin

agnes, me, debbie

frustrations

2007-12-27T18:39:00.000+08:00

i cant sing i cant sing i cant sing
i wan gain weight i wan gain weight

im restarting, im gonna find back my old self, the very initial me who was still wholesome and innocent.
i dislike myself being so sly and crafty now.

错过

2007-12-23T22:58:00.000+08:00

有时，会感到一阵心痛。
不同程度，形态的心痛。
有时，是锥心的刺痛，有时，是漫漫的沉痛，还有时，是悲叹错过的伤痛。

have u experienced it? the pain of having missed some people in ur life.
and once u missed them, they will not come back again, for two paths of destiny will not cross twice.
once the chance is missed, it wont turn back, all that is left behind is regret.

i was watching 黄真伊。
i pity her. destiny arranged her encounter with the faudal lord's son and let them fall in love, and in the end seperated them.

the theme of her 错过 the love of her life set me in this mood of gloomy emotions.

aaaaaaa..... somebody call 911 pls... someone is dying cos of heartpain...

2007-12-17T18:52:00.001+08:00

didnt work last weekends.

went out on sat with bwg, nothing much, just sat at mac and chit-chat. its been long time since i last saw them.

its amazing how much they each have grown through the years.

going out again with them on hari raya haji.

cant wait for the day to arrive.

sun was the s210 gathering organised by siti and me. its been like more than a year since i last saw any member of s210. really missed them lots.

it was sad that most of them didnt turn up, with only a handful made presence at the gathering venue. well, its expected since the gathering was planned at the eleventh hour.

we watched alvin and the chipmunks.

the content was rather cliche - the bads get their retributions, and the goods live happily ever after.

but the chipmunks are really cute!!! and they since good damn well haha

im put in charge to plan the next s210 outing =.="

well, cant wait to meet the rest who nv turn up this time round.

<3>

im going to get my new phone before new year!!!!! i must!!!

but i still dunno which models to choose =.="

alas

2007-12-13T18:02:00.000+08:00

been working everyday... and i do mean EVERY DAY when i say so, i dont exagerate...
zzz... take a closer look at my eye bags if u still doubt me.

i joined Venture Era last week. its a budding network marketing company, dealing with high-tech healthcare products, including magnetic therapy, water filtration and enhancement system, air filtration system. (all are damn expensive i can tell u, but quality is guaranteed )

the reason i joined Venture Era is not for money, but for the working experience, which will help me in my future career.

and, cant wait to meet Siti and Yismin to watch movie. haha miss them badly, and my beloved s210!!!

nothing much more to talk about
tata

2007-12-08T12:49:00.000+08:00

Jiraiya is dead!!!
Damn it!!!

just found out that huiyu play dota too lol
girls rarely play dota one.
next time can play with her haha

gtg for work now. sianz

2007-12-07T00:38:00.000+08:00

you and ur tantrums
i dont want to find faults, i dont want to push blames, i dont want to confront.
nobody is at fault.
have it settled peacefully.
u win.
i was right in the 1st place, it takes more than liking to be together.

a day's life

2007-12-06T18:22:00.000+08:00

went to work EARLY in the morning.

waited for others to arrive since i was the 1st to reach the work place.
finally others appeared,
but i saw something that shouldnt have happened,
im so disappointed in u, to think that u were the one to teach me about integrity and honour.

i was unable to concentrate as i had insufficient sleep, so i kept making stupid mistakes. haha silly.

finally was able to knock off at 5pm, but it poured!!!
and bus stop was like 300m away from the lobby, and there was no shelter, AND I DID NOT BRING UNBRELLA, and i was listening to umbrella by scott simon...
and i walked briskly in the rain to my bus stop, wet floor tends to be slippery so i couldnt run.
ya, i had my shower already, on the way to bus stop.
=.="

to make it worst,
i was molested on the bus ( i think so...),
by another guy
wth =.="

i thought i was lucky to be able to find a seat on the bus, in a raining day when buses are usually crowded, especially during peak hour.
but as the bus reached Nhee Ann Poly, a huge crowd of students squeezed onto the bus.
then a shoulder-length hair guy sat next to me, after i promptly moved to the inner seat in courtesy.
i was tired after a long day of work, so i closed my eyes and soon fell asl.
but soon i was woken up.
someone was pushing me.
i looked to me left, its the same guy who sat next to me.
he appeared to be slping too, but more like he was trying to lean on me and slp =.="
he keep lying to me, pushing me to the wall of the bus, and closer and closer!!!
zzzzzz... he keep knocking onto me everytime the bus manoeuvred.
i dont believe he can still slp in dat kind of condition.
i seriously think he was pretending to fall aslp, and purposely lean on me to take advantage of me.
ZZZZZZ wth la
i wanated to tell him off, but i didnt want to make a din out of it, as the bus is afterall a public place.
i dont want to make a fuss, cos i dont want ppl on the bus to look at me.
somemore, i cant be sure if he was really aslp.
if he really was slping, then i would have wronged him, and make things look really ugly for him, and myself.
ZZZZZZ... nvm just treat it as an unlucky day for me.
by the time the bus reached my bus stop, he was like almost completely leaning his upper body against me. =.="
i quickly make gesture to signal to him that im alighting the bus.
and im finally freed from the nightmare.
zzz
zzz
suey ah...

and lastly, im now more affirmed that we dont match.

2007-12-03T18:28:00.000+08:00

Rainie fever

my wanted list:

1: crumpler sling bag

2: new phone

3: 1gb ram

4: new specs

money dont fall from the sky, so i need to work for what i want. this december holiday will be a busy one for me =)

2007-12-03T01:37:00.000+08:00

chalet was fun, i miss bwg

the most precious is what u cant have.
this statement has been proven true times and again, universal constant.
and i have nv forgotten about u

and i dislike scheming ppl, i dont play mind game

2007-11-28T19:26:00.000+08:00

been busy working...
work work work

tml is bwg chalet... haha missing them badly
and yh is back to singapore le lol dat asshole so long nv see him le

dean is going to tekong next week, and zk n zw jan, then gj, wd n jh is april...
will try to go out wif them more often b4 they check in
blood brothers for life!!!

2007-11-23T12:42:00.000+08:00

i want to go to mars

i want to live there alone and die alone

2007-11-12T00:48:00.000+08:00

i have not been doing constuctive work recently.
excessive gaming has taken over my daily itinery.

i need to get a change, cant afford to slack anymore further.
find a job 1st and dovote more time into my studies.

and... clear up some messes in my private life.

2007-11-03T17:09:00.000+08:00

too much chaotic emotions running though my head.

flustered, i cant think straight.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-11-01T11:18:00.000+08:00

random thoughts

2007-11-01T00:00:00.000+08:00

fate loves to play tricks on his pawns.

everything is predestined for the desperate one who is nv fated to get what he wants.

u will gape helplessly at ur desired and let it slip through ur fingers.

u r powerless in the presence of destiny.

and god will nv answer ur desperate calls, he will tell u that he cares for u and gives u his fullest mental support.

u are on ur own, the world is out there for the brave ones to venture.

the destination is at large, and the direction is vast, there is no calling voices to guide the lost souls, success chanced upon by those lucky ones, the rest are discarded by fate.

u may choose to rely on ur instincts, which is often proven plainly impulse without foresights, and u land up in the starting point.

u may opt to take the rationale path, but too much composure often alter ur basis and embark u on a road to an end which was not what u had originally wanted, much to regret only when its too late.

fate is always around, and the choices are always in ur hands.
u may decide which path to take, but only fate can decide what u will get in the end.

horizon

2007-10-31T18:31:00.000+08:00

supposed to go book air flight for my cousin today, but end up slacking at home.

i shall make the trip tml.

then these few days suddenly everyone wan jio me go swimming... lol everyone love swimming... me too, but still an amature...

learn to look beyong the horizon, the world exist further than where ur eyes can reach, stretch ur wisdom and extend ur sights to a greater limit.

revolution

2007-10-30T23:52:00.000+08:00

and i have changed.

ppl do change, im no exception.

we changed, to adapt to environment, so dat we can better position ourselves in our social circles or the society at large.

we need to make changes to ourselves so that we can move on to a broader scope of life.

there is a limit to every way of life can bring you to, so had mine bottle-necked, failing to take me to a greater height.

changes are always good, but ppl are rejective of changes, however uncomfortable, what is necessary has to be done.

changes can happen anytime, in a way u least expected.
sometimes, in the early morning when u wake up in bed, u may suddenly be struck with dis lightning of enlightenment... and ur brain feels clear and u realised that its time for a change...

i will be more assertive, to be more pressing towards my objectives.

and i will be more initiated, the earth wont revolve for me, i need to make my moves 1st to get myself closer to what i want.

and im not as innocent as i was.. i do mean it.

bloody hell

2007-10-23T22:28:00.000+08:00

got back promotional exam results today.

im promoted.

but 3 of my classmates are retained.
the girls cried, the guys were silent.
we had all wanted to move on the jc2 together as a class, so badly.

and guo wei is expelled, for failing the promotional exam for the 2nd year.
another good friend is leaving me.

no mood to say anymore things.
signing off.

3... 2... 1...

2007-10-15T19:02:00.000+08:00

are u a environmental conservist?
i think that its totally cool with the concept, being a part of the population's effort to conserve the environment.
help to save the world before our resources run out.
it bestows me a sense of pride and honor, and relates me to superheros who save the world.

i feel noble when i tell ppl that i support environmental conservation.

my exams were finally all over, 2 weeks ago, and the results returned were quite positive, meaning that i managed to clear my requirements to promote to jc2 next year.
however, not all of my classmates are as lucky as me. quite a few of them didnt pull off this round, including... zixian, kahui...
really feel very sorry for them, and sad that we may be be able to stay in the same class next year, if our ct dont help to push them up.
hope they get promoted and we can stay together next year.

for now, im trying to find a job, cos my savings are running low, cos of someone, who keep asking me out and drained my savings... zzz
i need to quickly get myself employed and replenish my savings.
jia you

sometimes i find myself contradicting. im not who i am inside as who i claimed myself as, its a tough battle between consciousness and desires. its hard consistently keeping ration over one's animal instinct. u know that u shouldnt do something but ur heart yearns for it, the inner struggle constantly occurs within ones mind and exhaust his energy and erodes his determination.
however tough it is, i strive to persevere and keep to my stand, so as to move myself on to be a better man.

and i should not do anymore kiddish stuff, im already grown up, and i insist that one's emotional and physical maturity should match.
there are too many immatured adults around, and i will not become one of them.

relieved!!!

2007-10-04T19:37:00.000+08:00

finally all my exams are over!!!

a short review on my performance, i wouldnt be confident to meet the 1 h1 pass and 2 h2 pass criteria to promote to j2 next year.

it wouldnt be a problem to pass my econs and maths, so i now lack a h2 pass. my computing is definitely dead, so im left with only physics. looking at the papers i did, paper 3 was completely messed up, paper 1 already discovered many mistakes right after the exam when we exchanged answer, and paper 2... shall i elaborate on the details?

waaaaa!!! damn it man. nvm i shall not suicide my brain cells worrying about whats gonna happen, rather, let it come if it is to be.

ok, so... i now officially declare myself enter a state of holiday from now on!!!
hehe...

hehe...

hehe...

hehe...

hehe...

u ask me hehe what? why should i tell u?

what is your love?

2007-09-27T01:48:00.000+08:00

came across this post while blog-hopping.

i thought that it is rather meaningful and true at large so i decided to quote the post for many others to sort out their understanding of themselves.

---------------------------------------------

Love? Does anyone truly understand what love is? Many people, me included, get swept over on the slightest hint of love. We toy with our feelings, tricking ourself into believing that we have finally found the 'one' and then realizing weeks later that he/she's actually the 'one' not meant for you. Trapped in this vicious cycle of searching and breaking-up for love, did we gain experience from it or have we lost ourselves in this mess?

Love, something so simple, can be appallingly complicated.

I believe that we get addicted to romance, and not love. Love is about responsibility; it's about putting 2 people's opinions into perspective; it's about sharing one's joy and sorrow; it's about conquering difficulties, come what may. We often find ourselves in quick relationships because we never really make an effort to make it work. There's a chance of love in front of you and you grab it, not caring about the consequences that might arrive. Isn't that selfish? A relationship is never just about you, it's about 2 people. And when a relationship fails, it's not just about you but about the other party getting hurt as well.

However, don't they say that love is selfish? It is, of course, in a way. But love - true love, isn't.

We hop from one partner to the next, searching for happiness, even as fleeting as it might be. We want our partners to be sweet, be nice, be rich, be cute, be supportive, be everything that you expect them to be. Well, that's not love. That's romance. But after the facade has peeled off, when everything is not as perfect as it is, and two people are still together, then that's the start of love. That's where sacrifices come into play, and a consistent effort to make things work.

Love is never perfect. It's about trying to make things perfect.

But because we are often so deluded into finding the right one, we send out wrong signals to everyone, hoping upon hope that maybe someone would fall in love with you. And we bask in the love that we receive. For the sake of love, we let selfishness and temptations get the better of us. Has love consumed us till such an extent? I hope not.

Don't go looking for love, but rather let love come in. And whenever a relationship fails, have some time to think about what went wrong, before getting together with someone else again. If not, have you truly understood what you want? Would you fall for the same mistake twice?

And definitely, what would the other party feel?

Of course it's a full circle. It always is, always has been. Only when you try to sincerely break away from it, understand what you truly want, then can you set a straight path towards the destiny you desire.

Have you loved before?

Have you truly loved before?

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the majority of the ppl i know falls into the category mentioned above.

characteristic:

1: desperate for love.
see a slightest chance of love, quickly grab on to it without thinking, the next min, the relationship ends... then they start lamenting that they very pitiful, no ppl to love them... haix...

2. mistake romance for love.
they are looking for a romantic partner, not a love partner. they want to do everything romantic with their partners, which is too idealistic for a real love. to love is to live with. human beings do not live in romance. romance is just an occasional bliss we reward to ourselves for standingbying our partners through think and thin, ups and downs. relationships that cannot survive through disputes are based on romance, not love.

3. self-deluded that love has arrived at 1st sight.
they think that love is like air present all over the atmosphere. everytime they meet a new partner, they forcefully convince themselves that love has arrived upon them, which is untrue. they just enjoy the excitement of falling in love and the false hope that someone has come to love them. total self-delusion and self-indulgence. Love is only to arrive after a couple has braved through joy and sorrow together and still stay by each other's sides. but ppl normally thinks that love is like macdonal delivery- arrive at ur doorstep at a call within 10 min. NO!!! love has to be able to withstand the tests of time and difficulties.

4. hunting for love.
they would make as many friends as possible. the reason is very simple. they want to open themselves to as many choices as possible, even during when they are attached. they are preparing themselves for new relationships all the time, be it when they are single or attached. ya ya ya, they claim to be faithful devoted lovers, how true can this lie be? dats why i would never consider anyone high profile. cause i know that they are never truely sincere to be settled with me. they are always looking for better choices. true love will come to you when the time is ripe. those so called "true love" u found are just one of the many sacrifices along your way blindly looking for false love. they wont last.

lesson of the day:
dont be desperate finding love, love will come to you. dont expect relationship to be always romantic, instead, learn to appreciate the bitterness of your rows with your partner, cos setbacks will make a relationship more realistic. dont be too eager to conclude that love is already present between you adn your partner. love is not something that can pop out of nowhere. it takes time and efforts to grow love.

im glad that i have already realised these before i read this post, it only helps me to re-enforce the concept haha...