i have nothing much to say.

i had chosen to make my life dis way- black and white, distinguishing yet plain.

no more grey regions for my devil-within to seek selfish comfort in.

life is like this. things will never turn out the most ideal way u wanted them to be. there will always be some dissatisfactions here and there that form the imperfections in life.

its up to us how we want to handle these difficulties. remember nothing ventured nothing gained. there is always a balance in your gains and losses. u have to make sacrifices for what u persue.

u have always thought that you are on the right track. but perhaps you are wrong. have you focused too much on those temporary moments of content until that you have lost direction of your primary goal u had set which had motivated you to set out your path and spurred u on in the beginning? just how much are you aware of what you are doing now and what have you become after all these struggles? are you who you had initially wanted to be?

if you are, i congratulate you for enduring all these tough periods along the weathering years. you have done yourself proud in proving yourself a worthy persevering playing in this game of life. u are not a pawn, u are a player in control.

if you are not, dun fret. its not that you have completely lost yourself in this turbulent whirlpool of disguise and deception. perhaps you had already established a new goal for yourself unconsciously. all you have to do is to identify your new goal, and you are back on track.

but if you are really lost for orientations, im afraid that you have really drowned yourself in the stormy seas. you have no control of your life. what you need the most now is a grace period for you to reflect on your past life-what you have done, how you had done it(intentions & approaches), what impacts you had made on your life as well as others' lives. dont force yourself to achieve an outcome with eager. headless flies will only end up trapped in spider webs. calm yourself, search within you, echo this in your heart, reverberate "what do i want?"

i dont understand why am i so linguistic now, though i promptly admit that im more of a pictorial person.

i felt to sad after reading somebody's blog entries... another lost lamb whose life is made more pitiable with dramatically displeasing encounters. good luck.